Her Random Musings

Submissive side of me – see the other side at Phoenixwolfrising.wordpress.com

Feels like forever!

Last night we played for the first time in what seemed forever. It hasn’t been, but it felt like that the last few days. A reason for this is that several times recently we have switched back to me being in control, and so there hasn’t been the time to play with me.

Last night was amazing. I like pointy things and you probably realise that from a lot of my posts! My Mistress bought claws – red metal ones! They were made especially for her and although they weren’t as sharp as they were meant to be, they were amazing! I wriggled constantly on the cross as she gently pulled them down my back for the first time. She dragged them all over my skin including my cunt as I melted and moaned on the cross. I was wearing our new blindfold and that already sends me into the headspace of willing to do anything for her.

I love Her more than I have ever loved anyone and She loves me more than I have ever been loved in my whole life. Being fucked on the cross in such a state almost made my knees give way at one point. But I held myself up there as she tried out our new flogger which I think I may have fallen in love with! I had no idea when she came out that she had the harness on. She began with bubbles! I dare you to try that! She blew them all over my body and blindfolded in the dark I suddenly realised what it was that was touching my skin so lightly! It’s the most amazing sensation! Then she started with the claws and knives as I almost begged her to take me inside to bed and fuck me. I needn’t have worried though as she soon had me bent over and was fucking me hard with my head was hitting the wall behind the cross.

Afterwards she began to beat me and I counted 2 floggers, a paddle and a leather carpet beater before she used a cane. She knows just how to build up until I almost collapse with the ecstasy of it! I wondered if I would handle the cane after such a while since we have used one, but She was gentle with me and as usual I fucking loved it.

We played for over an hour and as usual I could have gone on forever! I was floating in and out of my happy place for the whole time. No one has ever made me go there so quickly or easily as She does.

It will soon be our 1 year anniversary and I have something special planned. So does She seemingly and with her I never guess what the surprises are – it’s amazing that she gets so many surprises past me as I normally guess everything that is planned. So all I need to do now is keep my secret until the 1st May! I’m not sure I will be able to, I like to make her smile and I am sure that this surprise will!

Keep your fingers crossed for me!🙂

?+?=? A #WickedWednesday post

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When I first saw the prompt I immediately went back to last weekend and although I would normally write a fictional story for Wicked Wednesday, I can’t help but share my last weekend and the amazing event I attended in Brisbane called Carnage 2.

MY Mistress/girl (she started off as my Mistress when we left and by the time we were there she was my girl :-D) originally hails from Queensland and so it’s a place that she likes to visit although I have only had the pleasure twice including last weekend so far.

We stayed for the first two nights with our dear friend and artist Muted who has recently moved there to be with her Daddy and who we miss terribly. Arriving Friday morning we headed down to the Gold Coast to their place after first stopping for some breakfast, after flying all night we were extremely hungry. Friday night after a catch up saw us at two lovely ladies place who hold an event called Evilution. It was Evil Girls night, and there my Mistress became my girl again. She is a dolly and as I went out for a smoke she had tried on a mask and instantly was in that headspace. When I returned she was sitting on a swing in a cage and I stood holding the bars staring into her beautiful eyes for all the world wishing I could have seen the moment she had switched.

We had the most wonderful night after that but the details I shall remain silent on, after all some things should be kept private.

Saturday we were all excited for what was about to be a 12 hour event. Our friend Muted was to be carrying out cuttings all day and the two of us were to be her canvases. Charlee had experienced this before but I had not and to say I was apprehensive would be an understatement. I had however decided on a line cutting only, so there was to be no flesh removed and this I thought I would handle for a first time. Arriving at the event it was exciting watching as the first hook suspension of the day was being prepared and my girl lay down on the bed to have her wolf paw print cut into her backside. I can think of nothing more honourable than someone having such a scar created in honour of you, can you?

Watching both her cutting and the first suspension was difficult and I gave up and watched my girl to make sure she was alright, before being told the suspension was about to happen. The hook suspension was being done through a friend of ours knees and was certainly a sight to behold. I watched grinning as she pushed away and refused to be taken down after a minute, wanting to stay up there longer. She is a machine this woman and pushes her boundaries constantly.

By then my girl’s cutting was done and it was my turn. I was scared I must admit. Despite all of my tattoos I wondered if I could cope with the pain of this type of thing. She started, warning me not to clench my arse cheeks and told me she was about to begin. It hurt! It really hurt! But my girl was holding my hand and I lay there and got into a space where it didn’t hurt! Before I knew where I was, it was done! What do you think?

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The day was awesome from there on in! We both had liquid nitrogen brands – not the ones we were supposed to have done since the brand hadn’t been made in time, but matching brands which still are healing. Next it was time for my girl’s suspension. I get anxious when she does things so hard, and so I was nervous that I wouldn’t support her enough or that she would not go through with it and then beat herself up because she had lost a chance of doing it for a time. But as I watched her I knew deep down that she was going through with this. I had permission to be up on the stage with her, but although that would have been fine, I watched as she got into the head space she needed to be in and realised I would just be in the way so stood below her and watched her as the hooks went in. I had already watched before as she had done a hook pull so had seen the gory details before. The bar and rope were attached and then she was standing above me looking for all the world like an angel. As I stood back I watched the indecision on her face, not due to the suspension but due to the fact she was balanced on the edge of the stage and she suffers from fear of heights. Seconds later I watched with tears in my eyes as she lifted her feet and flew. It was an amazing sight and the tears streamed down my face at how beautiful she was. Yes I’m a big bad domme! Ha ha

The day went on and we chatted with friends and watched numerous suspensions, needle and fire play and then came my moment that I had been waiting for all day. A moment which my girl wondered if I would go through with. I was going to become something I had always wanted to be.

So where does the prompt come in I hear you say?

needles

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Feathers

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Phoenix me

So you see it fits into the prompt perfectly! It was the most amazing experience and my very first time trying needles! I loved it and already have another project planned for my next trip to Brisbane. I cannot wait to do this again but on a different and larger scale!.

Click the link above or below for more Wicked Wednesday fun!

wickedwed

Enough!

There are times in your life when you wonder what you ever did in your life before,
that so many things have gone wrong.

Right now is one of those times! From the first day of the year we have had nothing
but strife and bad luck. Although in amongst that there has been good luck in that we
weren’t seriously injured in a car crash. When you walk away from a five car pile-up,
you must have some good luck surely?

The bad luck continues and we don’t seem to be getting a break and I for one, don’t
know how much more I can take of it all. I just want things back to their normal
boring routine with work, play and sleep and nothing major going tits up.

Surprisingly we welcomed this year to get over so much heartache at the end of last
year! Through it all though, and it’s been two months of it, we have each other and
still we smile and laugh and for the moment of the smiles and laughter, nothing else
matters.

We haven’t been a year together yet and still we cope with all that’s been thrown
at us in 2013 alone. I love her and she loves me with a love so deep it feels like it
has always been there, just waiting for us to meet and become who we are. I feel as
though I have been waiting all my life for her to arrive and look at me the way she
does.

We have plans the two of us, for our family and our future, right now they all seem to
be drifting in the wind with all that’s gone on, but still we plan for our future. Even
with all of the heartache we have endured this year, we plan and smile for we know it
is all fleeting and that around the corner is our life, new and different.

It’s hard to see the plan in what is going on though, yet deep down we both know that
the universe is shifting and that this will all make sense soon, when again we see our
path clear.

I wrote a short story for the first time since October yesterday and although it was
nothing special, it felt so good to have the freedom of my thoughts on paper at
long last. Today, well it was bad news again which will have a huge impact on us
financially.

I want to raise my fists at the sky and scream ‘why?’! Instead I am writing, as this is
what I am. A writer, regardless of how good or bad I am, that is who I am. It’s what
makes me feel alive, it’s how I speak and work things out that I can’t talk about. She
laughs that I can be so descriptive and eloquent on paper, yet I cannot speak the words
out loud so easily.

To me though it all makes sense, I write and the words flow. So whether you think my
writing good or bad, it doesn’t change the fact that I am one. She has been trying to
get me to write for months and I have kept everything in and refused to write. When
the year began she gave me incentives for writing, yet still I couldn’t write. I had no
interest in it at all.

For a while I thought that I was done and had written my all. Yet these last few weeks
despite all that’s been going on, the characters have been there in my head telling me
their secrets and insisting I write them down.

I’ve hurt my hands several times recently and friends have said that perhaps I am
being told something about my writing. And I suppose now I am listening and the
words are there I wonder if they have been right about it. Broken finger, skiers thumb
and all sorts of cuts and scrapes; my hand really hurt (so much so that I thought I was
going to have to return to the docs for an x-ray-don’t ever put your hands out in front
of you when in a car crash by the way) until I began typing just now. The pain has
stopped and as I type it’s gone.

I take the hint universe! I take the hint! Just please stop throwing this much crap our
way and really give us the break that we deserve. We deserve to be happy and content
and boring for that matter. We deserve to have a house, car, kids, our cat back and
maybe even a puppy. We deserve to be financially secure and all that would bring.

We have both had shitty childhoods and a shitty adulthood. We have only ever had
moments of good times. It’s now time we had a good life for us all, and for the rest of
our lives. We deserve it and today is the day I say enough! From tomorrow life will be
better for us, we deserve no more of this and I won’t have it anymore.

Expect to see my writing appearing again, not as often as before as I now have a
family and they deserve my time too. However I will be blogging again here and I
will be writing again on my other blog Phoenix Words on Screen. You might even
see a few lines from time to time on my Phoenix Wolf Rising site. One thing is for
sure, I refuse to take any more of what we have been experiencing. SO enough! We
need our lives back so we can move forward.

I hope that you have all missed me and my writing and I promise that future posts
won’t be as morbid as this post!🙂

Phoenix
xxx

Christmas with family

So it’s over for another year! I had one of the best I’ve ever had and that’s surprising given the week prior to the day itself!

It started with Mistress and her child being made homeless, the car being issued with a defect notice and then not getting the rental we were so sure was about to become our home together with our pup.

I spent last Saturday crying with frustration at everything happening that we had no control over and also in anger at my works inability to sort out my future there which would resolve everything that was going on!

I made it hard for Mistress as she was the one all this was happening to and she ended up having to comfort me because I lost control at our lack of control.

However we decided that Christmas was going to be fun regardless of all that brown stuff hitting the fan and it was! The child eventually wakened around 5.30 (I’d been awake from 4.30!) and we spent the next hour or so opening the seemingly endless amount of parcels under the tree!

I was given such lovely and thoughtful gifts that my heart sang. My favourites – a wolf necklace for the other side of me and a Street Fighter monopoly set which is awesome! I love that game and have been playing it for years and didn’t know that there was a monopoly version!

For Mistress I bought a present for each aspect of her personality; Mistress, girl, baby girl, dolly and kitten! This resulted in me getting an awesome present of my kitten over Christmas which the thought of still makes my heart sing!

We spent the day with our chosen family splashing about in the pooI and having so much fun I didn’t want it to end.

Boxing Day saw them come to visit us and I cooked a traditional turkey dinner with all the trimmings (plus obligatory prawn cocktail and trifle!)

So it’s almost New Year and Hogmanay will see us celebrating with them again. We both have had a shitty upbringing and to have chosen such wonderful people as family makes us happy to call them such, when we both have chosen to isolate ourselves from the blood family who hurt us so much.

Decisions have been made for the new year and hopefully we can see an end to the upheaval and worry of the last few weeks which has nearly broken us both.

For you my friends I wish you everything you have ever wished for yourself for the coming year. Be safe, happy and enjoy each day as it comes.

Happy 2013 when it comes my friends.

Phoenix
Xxx

Cunt torture, collars and rope – oh my!

Life has been really busy recently and despite my best efforts I have been away a while again!  I seem to always have other things that I want to do instead of sitting in my head and writing.  I miss writing, don’t get me wrong, I miss it so much when I have characters having conversations in my head and by the time I have space to sit down I’ve forgotten them.  I carry my iPad around with me yet never seem to think to take it out and jot these things down like I used to.

I spend every day with my Mistress now, neither of us being able to spend the evenings or the mornings wakening, apart.  We have been searching for a rental property together so that we don’t have to travel between our places and constantly be packing and unpacking and living from our cases.  I would go and buy a place, but am waiting for my contract renewal and although it is unlikely I will be out of a job, I know that if I am offered anything less than 2 years I will be moving on.  I have been there more than 2 years now and have managed to get my team of 11 all ongoing contracts so it sticks in my throat that because of my promotion and salary that they are struggling to make me ongoing.

So, a rental it must be for the time being, and you would think that would be easy given my senior position and salary at work! But no, the rental market here is crazy and 50-60 applicants for each house and the rents increasing weekly! So we keep searching and living between each others places where we have but a room.  Luckily my landlady is going away for Christmas, so we have the place to ourselves and it will seem if for a short while like we are home and as I write this, my Lady is decorating our very first Christmas tree in preparation for picking the child up tomorrow.

So, what have I been up to recently?  Well, a lot as usual and some play thrown in! We have been to many events over the last few weeks and this weekend (apart from tomorrow when we have a birthday picnic for a fet friend of ours) we have decided not to go to the party we were meant to be going to for reasons, well I will get to that perhaps another time.

We had our 6 months anniversary last month and my lady spoiled me as usual and bought me a large canvas print which I intend hanging in my office, (when I eventually have one!) where it will inspire me while I write.  We have very similar tastes and I fully intend getting the rest of the set of these prints.  She also bought me the first of my 1000 cranes – its beautiful and framed and we intend to get the 1000 eventually!  (It is said that whoever folds a 1000 cranes will be granted their hearts desire – as we already have ours we want the physical evidence that reminds us every day).  I couldn’t resist buying her some too – 21 red ones in the shape of a love heart – they make both of us smile every time we pass them in the hallway in my house!

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A friend of my Lady’s was to be married a few weeks ago so off we went on a long car journey in 32C heat with no aircon to Harvey (where majority of WA milk comes from), the wedding was beautiful and the ceremony of course involved handcuffs!  We spent a lovely day fighting off flies and smiling at one another every time something was said that rang true with our relationship – nothing like a wedding for making you soppy eh?!

I had my first suspension at a local club which was awesome, as did my Lady, me in rope, her in silk – to say I loved it would be an understatement!

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About 10 days ago we were turned into vampires with the most awesome teeth which we fitted to our teeth and looked like they actually belonged there!  My Lady looked so beautiful and at the time I was her Sir.  But it didn’t last despite the fact that it was still my turn until the following evening at midnight.  We had been kissing and she grabbed me by the throat and before I knew where I was I was calling her Ma’am.  I couldn’t have been happier, yet if she had done that any other time it would’ve earned her a slap for her cheek.

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In amongst all of these happenings there have been some very important events!

The first happened on the 4th November when we acquired our pup Calico who, although not quite new to the scene was nervous about entering into a D/s relationship, however she fits in very well with us both although we do not see her enough at the moment. Hopefully that will change once we have our house as she is to move in with us, so we will be able to give her more attention than she has been getting at the moment. I can’t wait to chain her out the back yard as I’ve promised for her cheek!

More importantly on the 16th November I collared my girl and both of us could not be happier. We have discussed it for some time but neither of us were willing to take that step until it was the right time but also until the other had earned that honour.  She fully earned that honour a long time ago to be fair but time had not passed to ensure that it was right for us both.  It was!

Cs Collar

The next important date was 30th November, St Andrew’s Day(my patron saint) and the day my Lady collared me.  It’s so beautiful and I spend all day touching it and ensuring that it’s still there.  I have never felt so complete in my life as I did the moment she put it around my neck, and I couldn’t be happier than I am at this moment. We as you know live a 24/7 relationship, and although we switch, it’s very easy and clear to us our roles, whoever happens to be in charge.

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These are our day-to-day collars and we will at some point also have collars for wearing to events etc for whoever’s turn it happens to be for kneeling, we are  in no hurry as we have the symbolism of what our relationship means now.

So we both are collared, a lot of people may not understand our switching life, but it works for us and that’s all that matters.  We know who we are and we know who the other is. To us it’s easy and natural and normal.

In between all of these goings on we have played and my Lady has been slowly introducing me to cunt torture which I must say right now I actually love! It frightened the life out of me just the thought of it, but the reality is much much nicer!

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It’s taken me a few days to write this as my laptop crashed in the middle the last time and it doesn’t seem to take much to stop me writing these days.  My Lady gave me a task a while back of writing and since then I have done virtually none.  I have no idea why that would be the case but the task seemed to make it different and harder and something that was not achievable. So, I have not been writing since I tried to write a part of the first task and failed to come up with any more than a few lines. My Lady told me to email those lines to her and delete them and then do the rest of the task ongoing. I had to write 2 blog posts, complete an unfinished piece and write something new every week. I feel such a failure for letting her down and continuously not completing my tasks every week since she gave me it and I accepted it.

I managed one week of it and have written nothing at all since, not even any ideas.  Help! I have no idea why since I would do almost anything for Her. I am normally very good at analysing why I do the things I do, but this time I am at a loss.  Hopefully if I just forget about it being a task and just write like I used to then I maybe can write again?  Maybe I’m back, who knows? Oh and just because it’s that time of the year here is a special picture to end this blog post off on!

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It’s been an amazing time recently and I will blog later about my views on it all! l love and adore my Lady so very much and I love that she is writing again! It fills my heart with joy to read her thoughts xXx

littlebrokendolly

Its been so long – October 9th was the last time I wrote anything. Thats how long it was for me to work out that writing or in some cases spewing my inner most thoughts out is a really good thing, I did for a while think it was one sided. I’ve come to realise thats not the case, but even if it was – who am I to say If I’m sharing, why arent you? I suppose technically I could – I am the Mistress after all.. I have however learnt over time and not always through my girl that dictating terms on an emotional level isnt always the best option.

I cant go back as far as Oct 9th – but I can give you a pretty awesome highlights reel😀

On November 1st it was our 6 month anniversary – usually I dont care to celebrate the…

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We play a lot and I never write about it!

So I’m writing about it!  Our play sessions are mainly amazing, those which aren’t are fucking epic!!😉

One of the times we played recently my Lady actually remembered to take pics!  In the heat of the moment it’s not always the best of times to stop and pull out your phone or camera!  It kind of kills the moment somewhat.  However, a recent session with me incapacitated meant she had plenty of opportunity to take pictures without actually spoiling the moment, since I stayed in the moment the whole time.

My Lady is, like me quite wicked, however with me, due to loving me so deeply she is often very kind to me when her instinct is to hurt me badly. I can’t say the same I am afraid.  I very rarely warm up, and get my kick out of hurting her and laughing while I do. Although I can be quite tender and make love to her when we are not playing.

That evening she swore she was going to hurt me more than she had before and wasn’t going to go easy on me, however yet again she did.  It is probably just as well, because with her, my tolerance to pain is nowhere near what I can normally handle.  It’s the same with her, she cannot handle anywhere near what she normally can and it can be quite frustrating being the masochists that we are when we cannot handle the pain that each other is dishing out.  Especially when we so desperately want it in the first place.

Anyway, this evening despite her still going easy on me, we had fun! We have lots of fun all the time it is fair to say! But not always at the same time! Ha ha  I wonder often if others find the same when they fall in love with their Dom/me or sub? What about you?

As it’s been a while since I’ve written or posted any pics I am writing two very short posts this evening and both with pics! This one obviously you are reading, but if you jump over to my Phoenix Wolf Rising site you will find our latest session at a friend’s birthday party (and it’s her I have to thank for the very lovely pictures).

Please do let me know if you can handle less with a Dom/me or sub you love than others, I am interested to know if we are not alone.

Love and shit

Phoenix

xxx

They may be pretty, but they still sting!

Ladybirds making their way to the flower!

I love chopsticks, but hate that fucking gag!

Disappointing my Mistress

I was so happy yesterday, I was going to spend the next 2 nights with my Mistress. As time goes on I despair when we are apart for a couple of nights during the week, so I look forward to every second Monday as for the next 2 nights we will be together.

This week I didn’t get my things ready on Sunday as normal, as Mistress and the child stayed over and I was tired and she had said to wait and we would go to mine after I finished work and pick things up. I was still tired and narky as I rushed about trying to get clothes ready, hang up my dry washing and think about dinner for everyone all in less than the hour that I had before we had to leave.

Mistress was waiting for me to ask for help and as usual I was being a stubborn brat and getting angrier by the second. Trying to do it all by myself without help I eventually snapped and shouted through the house at her that she could just help without me having to ask. The second the words came out of my mouth I felt ashamed.

I have never spoken to her like that and I hope that I never ever do again! As she came running through the house I panicked and my mind raced. I didn’t know what to do as I whirled round to face her. She hadn’t heard a word I had said apart from the swearing and the tone. I felt so ashamed I couldn’t even look at her.

I refused to even tell her what I had said, not because of what I said but because I didn’t want to say the words again and remind myself of how disrespectful I had been. We sat in the car in silence all the way to where we were going, my stomach was in my mouth and I was scared to speak. After all, how could I make up for what I had just done? To anyone not in a relationship like ours, this would’ve been nothing but to both of us, this was a major insult.

I barely spoke all evening until she told me it was done and she knew I was sorry. What she was most annoyed at was that I had not tried to do anything to rectify it, yet I was ashamed. The time she had not spoken to me was horrendous. I am so used to her constantly touching me and even not putting her cigarette out stung like a bitch!

Sometimes I forget that I am hers. Last night reminded me that I am so hers that I would wither and die inside without her. I know I could survive without her, but that’s not what I mean. I need her and that”s a different thing altogether. I need her so deeply, that it is deep in my veins.

She didn’t punish me for my behaviour and that surprised me, although for someone like me who enjoys that, I suppose that it wouldn’t have been so severe a punishment. We went to bed and fucked and I satisfied her like no other time. But all I could think of was punishment and so I asked her to hurt me. She gave me a spanking and only then did I feel able to let go of what I did and go to sleep.

For Mistress it’s passed, for me I will never forget the look on her face and I pray that I never make her look like that again. I disappointed her and let her down and I also let myself down. I’m not that forgiving.

First day back as her girl

Yesterday I became her girl again after a night where I refused to play with her as I knew her head was struggling to be where it should as my girl. Not as a punishment, but because it was the right thing to do. I wanted to play with her so badly, I had wanted to all day while we were out. I had hit her on the ears with the Misery Stick and watched as she melted while we were in the park at a birthday party. I wanted to take her there and then and make her beg me to fuck her as I beat her. But I couldn’t as I love her and I know that struggle only too well. I have that same struggle as it comes up to her time, and I don’t want to let go of the control I have.

Yesterday I was the one struggling but went through the motions, being in mainly a vanilla setting until we got home to my house. I was cheeky with her forgetting my place and she held me by the throat against my wardrobe door and I was instantly, metaphorically on my knees. I’m not sure what happened but I then found myself on my knees in front of her as she sat on the edge of my bed. She seems to manage to confuse me to the point that I have no concept of time, place or happenings and it is the most amazing feeling in the world.

My first was the first person to ever take me by the throat and force me to my knees, but this is different, oh so different. My Mistress now can make me drop to my knees just by smiling at me, it’s the most wonderful thing ever. I want to be there, I want to make her smile, I want to make her happy always, just like she does me.

I know there are things I want which make her sad though. I make her sad because she feels she isn’t enough for me, because I want someone else eventually in my life, because I have a girl online…… Together we want a boy to hurt, sexually she doesn’t want a boy, although I do. I want to fuck a boy and hurt one but I don’t want that back. I want so many things that are the same as her, but also different and I know that I give her all she needs, so I don’t understand why I need more than her. I spent a long time being monogamous when I didn’t want to be, but it was what my partner at the time needed and wanted, perhaps it was just all those years of denial?

I am however free to go elsewhere and have other partners, I will never have another Mistress while I have her though, that is not where my need lies. I wish I could give her monogamy long term, but I know if the right girl and circumstances came along then I would take the opportunity. However, in the meantime, I will do my utmost to make my Mistress the happiest woman alive and assure her that no matter what, she is, and will always be, no matter who else is in my life, the most important woman in it. And if she is not happy with the person who I choose then they will not be in my life.

I love you Mistress, and I cannot wait until we move in together. xXx

Tasks

So I have tasks! My Lady has been putting off giving me any (although I have lots of rules) as I have been stressed at work and have a lot on my plate. They all involve writing! And not the writing I always feel comfortable with either!

I have to write at least 2 blog posts every week, complete one story I have started and publish at least one new story (or 2 new poems). All of this every week! I suppose it’s not a big thing given that I was writing more than this not so long ago! I’ve kind of given up on writing recently and I’ve no idea why! It just happened with one thing and another, mainly because my thyroid went out of whack again just before I left for the UK and sapped my energy levels again. Hence the reason I have so many unfinished pieces. I started them and fell asleep writing them and then never came back to them again.

This week I have a different piece of writing to do however! I have a 3 part essay to write with a minimum of 1500 words in total and each piece cannot be less than 500 words. The first part must be about the importance of submission and how I think the role is portrayed and I’m not allowed to write about mine! That is driving me insane so far and I think I will have to write about the other two parts first and come back to it as I am not sure I have any ideas about importance other than the importance to me, either as a sub or as a top!

The second part is how does 24/7 D/s impact my life and what importance or significance does it play – that’s much easier! It’s my life, and I think I can easily write about that! The third is what do I believe my duties as a submissive are and what if anything do I believe I can do to better myself. That I can write a tome the size of War and Peace on!

I also have to handwrite a letter to my Mistress outlining the things I would like to explore be they kink, fetish or vanilla and I have no word limit on this! Thank goodness for that, as I am never very good at expressing my wants at all!

So as this mainly is what my tasks are this does not really count as a blog post *sigh* (I am being good Mistress) and my 1st blog post will follow shortly.

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